just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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