you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
