I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize