So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
did you just send me my own nude
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
