trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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