i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize