Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
