Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
