He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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