i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
