You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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