He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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