go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
