Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my phone needs a breathalizer
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
