i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize