Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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