but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
