So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
