okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
