how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
