If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize