I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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