I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
