I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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