i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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