I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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