you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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