I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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