My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
