now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
