Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That accounts for only three of the penises
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
