My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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