Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
