Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
