Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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