Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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