wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
