Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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