It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
