She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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