There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
