this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
