This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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