I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
