I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
