i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
