I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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