I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
