i jhust puked up my retainher.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
