I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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