The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
