last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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