just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
