Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.