Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
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i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.