i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow