i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
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I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.