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• (415): View more from California

  WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!

  (650): View more from California

  LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  video games are the ultimate cock blocker

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• (315): View more from New York

  We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling

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• (310): View more from California

  So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?

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