Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/9e4p
  Replies (6) Good night (895) Bad night (3882)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face! http://tfl.nu/2men
  Replies (24) Good night (1396) Bad night (4803)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  we need to drink 2009 down the drain

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): we need to drink 2009 down the drain http://tfl.nu/q0df
  Replies (16) Good night (5035) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement http://tfl.nu/oky4
  Replies (12) Good night (4855) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/eowy
  Replies (17) Good night (6803) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway. http://tfl.nu/lu4f
  Replies (14) Good night (1268) Bad night (2700)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! http://tfl.nu/9v3y
  Replies (16) Good night (3164) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  What's the over under on catching something from your sister?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): What's the over under on catching something from your sister? http://tfl.nu/0z2a
  Replies (21) Good night (751) Bad night (3078)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/2p0f
  Replies (1) Good night (1430) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are. http://tfl.nu/35z0
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (1530)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby http://tfl.nu/u8rx
  Replies (10) Good night (1077) Bad night (1823)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me. http://tfl.nu/ka0d
  Replies (8) Good night (582) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night. http://tfl.nu/5o01
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me.. http://tfl.nu/vhak
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns. http://tfl.nu/r79e
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (196)

Randomize