Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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  (480): There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone http://tfl.nu/wpdv
  Replies (38) Good night (653) Bad night (1793)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.

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  (601): they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell. http://tfl.nu/6mr7
  Replies (53) Good night (7942) Bad night (680)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4428) Bad night (933)
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  (631): View more from New York

  she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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  (631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr
  Replies (21) Good night (999) Bad night (8471)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers

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  (205): i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers http://tfl.nu/g3p7
  Replies (25) Good night (6757) Bad night (1043)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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  (847): Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine? http://tfl.nu/wblw
  Replies (39) Good night (4054) Bad night (1777)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.

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  (717): do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important. http://tfl.nu/a970
  Replies (7) Good night (4125) Bad night (782)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.

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  (412): Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything. http://tfl.nu/9u4l
  Replies (4) Good night (2685) Bad night (909)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.

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  (732): Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related. http://tfl.nu/sl34
  Replies (5) Good night (2330) Bad night (815)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?

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  (614): I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening? http://tfl.nu/furs
  Replies (18) Good night (1537) Bad night (1601)
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  (916): View more from California

  the gays at disneyland are vicious

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  (916): the gays at disneyland are vicious http://tfl.nu/i9ir
  Replies (13) Good night (1778) Bad night (633)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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  (435): Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that. http://tfl.nu/d2qc
  Replies (11) Good night (921) Bad night (532)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Should I go sleeveless of strapless?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.

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  (803): Should I go sleeveless of strapless? (1-803): Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it. http://tfl.nu/1uzl
  Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (322)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse

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  (734): I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse http://tfl.nu/942u
  Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (228)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band

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  (503): I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band http://tfl.nu/jb22
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (373)

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