Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
