because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
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i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
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That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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