I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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