Kiss
Puke
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
