I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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