what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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