you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
